Why Don't Zombies Have Beards?

by Nicholas Karnaze June 06, 2016

Why zombies don't have beards | stubble & 'stache

The Zombie Apocalypse has started, but why don’t zombies have beards?


There are two types of people in this world, those who like zombies, and those who lie about it. After a recent Walking Dead binge session, I found myself wondering...why don’t we see any zombies rocking facial hair?

First, the obvious answer: Once the zombie apocalypse starts, it will be the bearded men who lead the fight against the undead. We all know men with beards are stronger, more resourceful, and, frankly, better looking than our non-bearded counterparts. So it makes sense that the first wave of brain eaters will be clean shaven civilians.

Fighting Zombies

Now let’s talk science. There is a popular rumor in history that after you die, your hair and fingernails continue to grow. If that were true, one would expect to see many bearded zombies, right?

Zombie by Daniel Hollister

Bob from accounting (and his babyface) have been roaming the streets for several months now searching for his next human victim. Does Bob have a beard since he’s parted with the living world and his face scraper? Nope Bob does not have a beard now. Once you die, your hair and fingernails do not continue to grow. This misconception arose from the fact that your skin tightens and shrinks after death due to dehydration, giving the appearance that your hair and nails continue to grow.

But  the simplest answer to why a zombie can’t grow a beard is blood. In order to grow hair, you need functioning hair follicles. Hair follicles rely on blood flow (amongst other things) to sustain the growing process. No beating heart, no flowing blood. No blood flow, no beard. No beard, no need for manly beard care products.

And now you know.



stubble & 'stache was founded by a former Marine Corps Special Operations Combat Veteran in memory of his fallen comrade. We donate a percentage of profits to organizations supporting those men and women suffering from the mental wounds sustained in combat.

Zombie photo by Daniel Hollister

Nicholas Karnaze
Nicholas Karnaze


Warfighter turned entrepreneur. Founder, stubble & 'stache. Grooming expert. Skincare nerd. Marine Corps combat veteran.

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in The Man Blog

Is your beard ready for summer? 3 tips to keep you looking *hot* well past Labor Day
Is your beard ready for summer? 3 tips to keep you looking *hot* well past Labor Day

by Nicholas Karnaze June 06, 2017 1 Comment

Summer is finally here, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to ditch the facial hair you’ve been working on all winter. There are, however, some summer-specific beard grooming concerns we bearded gentlemen need to pay attention to during these warmer months. Read on for our top three tips for your summer beard.

Read More

Blog | How to stop beard dandruff | stubble and stache
Need to stop your beard dandruff? We’ve got you covered.

by Nicholas Karnaze March 31, 2017 2 Comments

You’ve spent a long time growing and grooming your majestic beard, so you aren’t about to let beard dandruff, or beardruff as we call it in the biz, kill your vibe.

Read More

Daylight saving time: Don’t lose sleep over it
Daylight saving time: Don’t lose sleep over it

by Nicholas Karnaze March 09, 2017

Most of us will lose an hour of sleep this weekend, thanks to Daylight Saving Time (DTS). While losing precious sleep is a grim thought, we know it’s worth the extra sunlight and extended days we’ll enjoy all spring and summer. But it got us thinking, how did DST get started?

Read More

Welcome to stubble & 'stache

New to stubble & 'stache? Join the Brotherhood. Enter your email address below to receive 10% off your first order and exclusive access to deals, events, and other manly things.